JB

he seems just a mere whisper in the night
a ghostly wraith
i could put my hand right through,
but no,
he’s really there, breathing,
standing unsteadily in the dark cool,
the light of the streetlamp
glinting off his head where hair used to be.

how long, how long will we have you?
days? hours? or perhaps just minutes.
you are barely there
i would put my arms around you
but for fear of breaking you.
you laugh and you smile
as if you are not in the act of disappearing
as if you are not in pain.

look at this long bold man
who forged his path
his own way
doggedly gripping this life even as he
ebbs into a world beyond —
what is it that we are? how is it that we stand
in this place of in-between together?
why must we suffer this collision?

even now,
look at you in the bright heat of the oven, 
hammering, crafting on the anvil
the only thing that means anything
at all.
and just look at this beautiful and cherished thing
you make in the midst of the
incomprehensible.

###

friend always

veru4_2_19I miss you, my friend.
You, so close,
          and
you, the one I will never know.
I don’t know where you are.
This was always the design.
You are going somewhere new
          without me, again.
What can I do but make wishes for you,
          like always,
and simply remain.
I miss you, my friend.

 

best friend

veru11_1_18aSometimes – often, in fact – my very best friend in this world is the cat with whom I share my home. He’s really a pretty amazing guy.

For one thing, he is always, always present to me. He clearly wants to be with me and to be my friend. He purrs A LOT.

He follows me from room to room without demanding attention. If I’m sitting in the living room, so is he. If I’m laying in bed, so is he. If I’m taking a shower, he’s right on the other side of the shower curtain. He makes it damned obvious that he wants to be with me.

At the same time, he’s independent. He clearly has a mind of his own. He’s tuned into things. He’s alert and observant. He’s filled with curiosity about the world. He’s very creative, too, always inventing new ways to pique my interest.

He’s completely non-judgmental about whatever it is that I’m doing or thinking. I can tell him anything. Anything. And he understands.

When I sing songs to him, he does not make any jokes about my voice.

In fact, he never makes any caustic remarks about anything I do – ever. That includes cooking, cleaning, employment, driving, social interactions, or big decisions.

And he absolutely does not care at all what I am wearing or how I look.

He takes me seriously. When I’m alarmed, he’s alarmed. When I’m upset, he is, too. He has been known to come to me and gently stroke my face when I’ve been crying. He also loves a good laugh with me.

He listens to anything I have to say. He not only understands my need to read to a lot, to write, and to sew and be creative, he absolutely appreciates it. He is demonstrable in his appreciation, sprawling across whatever sewing project I may have in the works, or cuddling up with me and a book.

He loves to have simple fun. He has a sense of humor. He can be sneaky. He likes to make surprises. His eyes are usually sparkling with joy. He loves dancing with me. He’s affectionate, always.

He’s a total coward – often hiding under the bed or in the closet if someone new enters the premises. That said, he’s totally courageous. Just watch him leap fearlessly into the air to snag a flying mouse toy.

He’s epicurean. He loves food. He loves hanging out in the kitchen. He loves pretty much anything I dish up for him.

He loves sunshine, butterflies, birds, and bugs. He loves warm. He loves rain and snow. He loves trees. He loves anything that moves, slightly.

He’s expressive. He’s intelligent. He’s not afraid to ask for help. He really loves a good stretch.

It makes me happy to make him happy. I love being around him. I love playing little games with him, and surprising him with toys. I love it when I make a comfy spot for him, and he jumps right in.

I love arriving home to his warm welcome.

Old soul, playful sprite. Confidante, partner, witness, hero. Midnight raider, ministering angel. Visionary, realist.

Yup, my best friend, my buddy. So grateful!