ready

all these years later
she can’t help but notice
those moments when
she is still ready to run
ready to flee at a moment’s notice
ready to hide
to shrink into invisibility
ready to cower placate apologize submit
to be silent
ready to protect defend shield
guarded always
as the shadows continue to ricochet through her life

and yet somehow
the one who wrought those sad reflexes
must carry even more damage and suffering
worse
whether consciously or not
must live with the knowledge of what they did
and the legacy that lives from it 
on so many levels

why do so many seem to spend
years and years of their lives in healing
and others spend those years
simply refusing to see 
their own desperate need to heal?

###

Note: In writing the above, I couldn’t help but recall this one I wrote some years ago here.